Couple Goals

As the first quarter of the year ended, my wife and I had our annual planning session. The true advantage of marriage is the ability and privilege of combining your resources and energy behind a common cause and vision. If we are to venture into and conquer the unknown, if we are to truly start living the life of our dreams, we need a plan.

Here is how to do it.

Set a date a week or two ahead with your partner, choose an evening when you both can relax and won’t be rushed for time. If you have kids like us, rope in their grandparents and get them to babysit so you and your partner and focus on each other. Allocate two to three hours for this, preferably even turning it into a date night.

In the preceding weeks before this meeting, both of you should spend some time thinking about what you really want from life. Hold off on sharing these thoughts with each other for now. Don’t limit your dreams by thinking about what might stand in your way, or what your partner might say. Aim high and let your imagination run wild.

As the date approaches, gather the following items:

  • A nice bottle of wine
  • Two glasses
  • A big sheet of A3 paper
  • Sticky notes
  • A pen
  • An open mind

When the evening comes, stick the A3 paper on the wall, pour yourselves a drink, and start discussing your dreams and where your minds have wandered recently. Draw a line across the paper marking the next five years: 2025 to 2029. Use the vertical space to indicate how urgent or important these goals are—the higher up, the more important.

“If You Fail to Plan, You Are Planning to Fail” – Benjamin Franklin

Take turns writing down your dreams on sticky notes, aiming for about ten or twelve each.

After you’ve both jotted down your goals, share them with each other. Discuss why you feel these dreams are worth chasing and what it might take in terms of time, money, or other resources to achieve them. Drink some more wine as you discuss…even flirt a little.

Next, place your sticky notes on the dream board. If you find that some goals conflict, discuss them. You’re too different people with different desires, you won’t agree on everything, and neither are you expected to. But you are on the same team. Their win is your win. A little friendly discussion can help in aligning your goals as a couple.

When goals clash, the key to finding a happy middle ground is to talk openly, understand each other’s deeper needs, and get creative with solutions. Start by explaining what you both want and why, then pinpoint exactly where these goals are bumping into each other.

Think about the real needs behind your goals—sometimes, what we’re aiming for is just one way to meet a deeper desire that might be fulfilled in other ways too.

Work together to brainstorm new paths that might let you both get what you’re after, or ways to tweak your goals so they fit better together. Remember, it’s all about listening, being flexible, and supporting each other. Celebrate when you find that sweet spot of compromise—it’s a big win for team spirit and moving forward together.

Once you’re finished, take a picture of your dream board, and celebrate by finishing the bottle of wine.

This exercise allows both of you to express your biggest dreams without holding back. Remember, no dream is too big at this stage. Let your imagination lead the way.

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.” – Albert Einstein

After dreaming big, it’s time to get into the details. Discuss what it will take to achieve your goals. Determine where, when, and what changes are needed to make these dreams a reality. Decide together how to best use your resources.

Now comes the action part. Many people live their lives on autopilot, only changing course when forced. Turning your dreams into goals can help you switch off autopilot and take control. You won’t be alone in this.

As a team, you’ll encourage each other, making it less intimidating to take bold steps. Don’t be afraid of failure. Either you win, or you learn and try again. Keep pushing forward and avoid getting stuck.

By working towards your goals together, you strengthen your partnership. Taking those first steps towards your goals will bring you closer, pushing you out of your comfort zones, teaching you new skills, and promoting growth.

Persistence is key. Together, you have a better chance of success. Stick by each other’s side, and remember, everything can be figured out. This teamwork is like aligning forces. Once you’ve agreed on your direction, you can move forward at full speed. By understanding and supporting each other, any challenges will seem minor.

Stop wishing and start doing. Be bold and reimagine your life together.

“Imagination has no age, and dreams are forever.” – Walt Disney

As we’ve grown in our relationship, we’ve moved closer to our dreams, becoming more committed and stronger as a team. We hope this guide inspires you to think about your dreams and pursue them with your partner. Everyone’s dreams are different, but sharing and working towards them together strengthens your bond.

In a relationship, it’s important to communicate openly about your dreams. Write them down and commit to achieving them together. If you need help with doing so, book a consultation today.

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